Ginny Found Guilty!

In a huge surprise, our own (in my opinion absolutely innocent) Ginny Beauchamp, of sterling character and matchless wit, was found guilty of two charges in her show-trial Sunday night, despite the overwhelming support she received from numerous witnesses and supporters, including SpongeBob Squarepants himself.

In the words of the Dishonorable Judge Gar Hallard:

"In the first count of wielding an axe the court finds ginny not guilty by reason of her reasonable reliance on the permit."

(Ginny's poised and practiced attorney, Tsidel Shepherd, produced a convincing, very official-looking "Axe-Wielding Permit" that this author had absolutely nothing to do with.)

"However, the court finds her guilty of impersonating a personincharge"

(A curious finding, in this author's opinion, since Ms. Beauchamp's tag clearly read "personnotincharge")

"And sentences her to psychotherapy conducted by herself"

"Count two of fashion crimes, I find the defendant guilty...of amazing and forward thinking style and order her to share her fall line of clothing with everyone through k-mart right next to the other jailbird Martha Stewart"

It is unknown whether Martha Stewart is on Ginny's Friends List.

"Finally on the count of promoting the religion of Spongebob Squarepants I'm sorry Ginny but you are guilty of that. Spongebob though delightful to young and old alike..even me . . . is a danger and your promoting of his message is a danger to us all"

"Ginny Beauchamp . . . you are hereby sentenced to reopen your therapy practice until you get it right. You shall provide to Cami and MissNomer the required therapy they need as a result of your outrageous actions. And JS Saltwater shall be hanged until death if he is ever apprehended."

Persecution team Dani Ballinger and Solari Georgia did a truly remarkable job in making these bogus charges stick.

All parties were delighted with the verdict and many hugs were hugged.